I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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