his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
