I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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