For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
