What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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