She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
