I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Randomize