I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and she was petting her beer can
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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