respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
