I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
