You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
