Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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