whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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