i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
