She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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