I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
