WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
