Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
