Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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