Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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