What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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