Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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