dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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