honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
