Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
