I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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