Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
