Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
