I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
