Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
People in love make me want to vomit
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
