i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
