I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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