I just saw a hot homeless man
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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