if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
