We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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