Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
