I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
