You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
