the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
