some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
