Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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