I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
