I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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