I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
