a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
nutella sex= disaster
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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