There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
