I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
