you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
