also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
