Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We don't watch enough power rangers
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
