You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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