yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
