Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Randomize
