The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
