You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
