So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
