chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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