Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
