you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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