I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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