somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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